We all lose something

Every single one of us will lose something or someone during our lifetime. 

That's a fact. 

If you go back a few blogs you'll read how my family lost 9 people in one year. 

I like to think that my brother would lose his head if it wasn't attached! 

Really!

Whether it's losing someone we love or losing something replaceable, we all lose things.

I once took a class on Loss and Bereavement. 

Ironically enough, it was the same semester that my horrible year began.

It was also one of the best classes I have ever taken.

Now you're probably wondering why I'm talking about this topic on my blog. 

Well, it fits perfectly, and you'll see why.

My professor said during that semester that the grief and emotional pain that someone goes through can be related back to a loss of some kind. She said it didn't have to necessarily be about losing someone. It could be about losing a home, a friend moving away, a pet dying, going to a new school, etc. 

She made it clear to the class that it could be anything that caused great stress, sadness, and a sense of loss.

Here I was thinking it was just about being sad that someone you loved had passed away.

Nope, I was wrong. 

One of the projects in class was to draw out our hand and write down 5 of our biggest losses. 

I was struggling with the 5th one and knew somehow that it would be related to my arthritis. 

I started thinking.

I always say I've never been normal.

But how can I lose something that I never really had to begin with?

Now I wasn't diagnosed until I was 6 years old, so we could argue that I was a normal kid for the first few years of my life. But I barely remember anything from when I was that young. I can think of a few memories, of course, but the biggest chunks of my life come from when I was older. 

I lost the chance to be normal.

I lost the chance to live a normal, pain free, no medication life.

I found my fifth finger! lol!

Also, I don't want you thinking I'm angry about this. 

I'm not!! 

I loved this class because everything we learned was so true! 

Just because I make it sound really depressing, doesn't mean I'm upset about it.

Remember, the point of this blog is not for you to feel sorry for people with chronic illnesses. 

The point is for you to see inside the life of someone who has one so you can learn more about it!

My professor loved that I put that on one of my fingers. She told me that this is something that comes up a lot in those with terminal illnesses. She said that they talk about how they are losing the opportunity to _____ (fill in the blank here).

It's interesting to me because I never thought of describing loss like that. 

One of the kids at the conference was discussing in a breakout session how he lost the chance to be a kid because he was having so many health issues. He couldn't just go out and play because he couldn't walk. He talked about he became depressed and angry.

This got me thinking of the stages of loss.

We learned about this in class as well!

You see people talk about this a lot when someone gets diagnosed with cancer or a terminal illness.

They go through the stages of loss.

This also applies to any form of loss.

Those who are diagnosed later in life experience this more than those who are diagnosed when they are younger. 

I do believe both go through the stages of loss at some point in their lives though.

It's harder for those who get diagnosed at an earlier age because their whole world is ripped out from under them. They now have to change everything and we all know how much we love change!

Those who are diagnosed at a young age grow up with it. It becomes just another thing they have to deal with, just another part of life. 

Getting diagnosed, losing someone, or experiencing any type of loss is difficult to go through.

That's why understanding the different stages of loss and grief make it easier, at least for me, to get a grip on the situation. 

Knowing where you're at, makes it easier to find things that will help. 

I think I met a lot of people at the conference who were in the bargaining and acceptance stage.
I know I go back and forth between the two all the time.

What's the meaning in all of this?
Why do I have this?
How can I reach out to others like me?
Heck, I have a blog to tell my story.
Moving on and realizing that I can be more than my disease.
How can I help others?
What's next, how can I use what I've learned?

All of these questions and thoughts were being discussed during the young adult sessions.
I was able to hear that others really felt the same and understood what it was like to lose something that we never really had to begin with.

I might have lost the chance to be a normal kid, but I've gained so much more than I would have had I lived a normal life.