Tuesday, September 22, 2015

I've got no spoons left

If you haven't heard of the spoon theory, I highly suggest you click on the link below and check it out.


It's pretty awesome!

I will go ahead and give you the cliff notes version for the sake of this post though! lol!

Basically, a girl with a chronic illness was trying to explain to her friend that she just couldn't hangout because she didn't have any energy. The only thing she had in front of her was spoons, so she used them! She told her friend that she only gets 12 spoons and she took 12 spoons as well. The spoons represent the amount of energy used up doing an activity. She then goes on and talks about her day and subtracts the spoons as she goes along. She was doing her best to show her friend that they can't do the same activities and still feel the same way.
By the end of  explaining her day, her friend only had 1 spoon left and she still had to eat and shower. She was asked, "what are you going to do? You can make dinner, but you lose your spoon. Or you can eat leftovers and use little energy that way you can shower. It's a decision that you have to make". Her friend asked for more spoons, but was told that she wasn't allowed to get any more. Once you use your spoons, you have to rest in order to get some back. By the end of the example, her friend finally understood that when you have a chronic illness, you can't do everything.

I LOVE this example and I really want you to go read the link because I missed a lot of stuff that you should hear!

This is a topic that I struggle with all the time because I want to do everything and hangout with everyone.

I feel like I let people down if I don't say yes to them.

It's something I've got to start working on because school drains me enough, I have to be smarter about using my spoons.

But then I start to think about the expectations placed upon me by my professors and school. I have to be the best, give the best, and do the best I can.

It's like this, except if I use all of my spoons on those things I can barely function.

So which area of my life do take spoons from to use them for school? Or my friend? Or my family?
Or do I continue to run on negative spoons all day everyday.

Ugh. The struggles of having a chronic illness.

If you figure it out, let me know.

Until then, i'll be using a spoon...or two...to write 3 papers this weekend.