22

I don't know about you, But I'm certainly not 22.

So yesterday was my 23rd birthday and it was just what I needed.
I was surrounded by a few friends and close family.
It was a perfect doctor who themed party followed by a great afternoon with quality time with just my brother. I needed that too.

I've never been one to dwell on getting older, nor have I ever been one to want to stay a certain age forever.

I mean, I'm pretty awesome in that I'm 23, I look like I'm still under 21 because they card me everywhere I go, I have the liver of an alcoholic (the one who doesn't really drink gets the bad liver), annnndddd I have the brittle bones of an 86 year old.

I literally have the best of every world there is! :)

Still, I found myself this morning when I woke up hating the fact that I was 23.

It's not an even number.
I don't have a really good catchy song to go along with it (nobody likes Blink 182's "what's my age again")
       "Nobody likes you when you're 23"....no Blink 182...nobody likes you...
And I just don't like the way it sounds.

While I may not like the number 23, I'm going to like this year.

22 was the best and worst year of my life so far.

I moved to Tallahassee.
I met wonderful people who have taught me so many things about respect, diversity, and friendship.
I got to travel to LA with my grandmother.
I went to football games and concerts.
I was able to start research and earn respect from professors that I want to work with.
I kept a stellar GPA when my world was crashing down around me.
I got to spend the last year with the ones I loved before they were gone.

I have to say that yesterday was harder than I expected it to be.
I'd be lying if I said I didn't cry yesterday because Meeme and Papa's names weren't signed on my card, or that I didn't get to eat a burger or steak grilled by the master chef himself, or that I didn't get to see Brandy coming toward me with that silly dog smile on her face.
I cried.
And it'll be a while before we stop.

Being 22 taught me that no matter what, family and friends will always be there for you.
It taught me to push through when you don't think you can.
And it taught me that no matter what I do, the ones I lost will be proud of me.

If you noticed I didn't name the bad things that happened to me this year.
There's no need to sit and list them because being 22 is over. It's time to begin at 23.

So this year...
I will be the best me I can be.
I will make mistakes because I'm young and I can.
I will make Them proud.
I will cry because I miss them.
I will make memories because I never know when the last time I get to see somebody is.
I will take care of my body (yeaahhh, this one is gonna take some work lol!)
I'm going to get into a Ph.D program because I want to.

There are so many things that I'm going to strive for this year because I never know what's going to happen next.
Like I said, 22 was the best and worst year and there were points where I didn't think it could get worse and times where I didn't think it could get any better.

But it can always get worse and it can always get better.
It just depends on how you look at what's facing you.

I was and I am "happy, free, confused, and lonely at the same time".
It was and still "miserable and magical".

Nothing has changed. Or has everything changed?
(side note: everything has changed is a Taylor Swift and Ed Sheeran song, sorry I had to lol)

And 23 might have health scares, deaths, wonderful grades, a doctoral program, and so much more.

So bring it on, 23, bring it on.


Did you really think that I would talk about being 22 and not have Taylor lyrics in it?!
I really hope by now, that you guys know me :)